I was walking alone at the pedestrian walk
and little did I noticed, I was walking in the same direction as the traffic.
I didn't know how, when but a motorcycle hit me so hard that I bled terribly
and everything became black.
The cyclist didn't stop to check on me, I remembered. But a guy was 'chasing after' that irresponsible person,
to seek for justice, to at least tell him to have a courtesy of saying sorry.
The cyclist pushed him away, he fell on the ground; injured himself.
I know him, but he didn't know she was me.
He passed out before he got to figure out who I was.
I woke up, after a very deep sleep.
I felt weird, I felt different.
I was not bleeding anymore,
I felt like a new person. I was dressed in white.
I figured. I was no longer alive.
My physical body was buried somewhere,
but my soul was wondering around
as if something was chaining my leg.
I owed someone something,
or someone just couldn't accept me leaving this world.
The guy, I need to see the guy who fought for my justice.
I was standing in front of his room, in the hospital.
Weird, he could see me from his window.
He looked happy,
he smiled as if today was the happiest day he had ever had.
His parents were in the room, together with the doctor and a nurse.
He asked them to leave, cause he wanted to 'sleep'.
But really, he just wanted to see me.
I walked into the room,
he smiled. We promised to meet each other, one hour after the accident happened.
He apologized for not showing up.
He knew I must be worried.
He said, he just wanted to help this girl,
who was being 'hit and run'.
They told him the girl was dead,
he felt sorry for not saving her life.
I sat next to his bed, asking him to stop talking.
I cried.
I started apologizing.
"Qim, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I have to go.
The girl, she, she was me."
I cried.
The tears were running on his cheeks.
He was speechless.
He looked away, he couldn't look at me the same way.
"I'm sorry. I have to go. I don't have much time here.
You have to let me go. I'm sorry. I didn't choose to leave you, Qim. I'm sorry"
I faded away.
I couldn't see him anymore.
He couldn't see me no more.
But I could hear him crying.
I'm sorry.
I knew someone was witnessing us, the nurse.
She could see me.
One day, I went to his room again, but the room was empty.
I didn't know where should I find him.
The nurse saw me, and she talked to me, politely.
"I know you. You came to visit him the other day, right?
He's not here anymore. No one knows where he is, not even his family.
He loves you so much, that he couldn't let you go.
That's why your soul is still here, your soul is searching for answers.
He will let you go, he needs more time.
May Allah bless your soul, sweetheart."
I smiled, with tears in my eyes.
They say it hurts to be left,
but it hurts to leave too.
I woke up, crying.
It felt surreal.
I wish I have more time....
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