I was in a strange place.
It's so white, I felt nothing but at peace.
As I walked, I realized that everyone would have
his/her own space.
No one talked to each other, but everyone knew
that there were other people around them.
I looked like a curious cat, wandering around
in a new place.
Others, they seemed to know this place so well.
I bet they had been here for a while now.
I saw Tok Abah from afar.
I was so happy and excited that I finally met someone I knew,
not a stranger, someone who's dear to me.
"Tok Abah!" I approached him.
He smiled at me but the smile he gave me was so familiar.
I had seen this smile on his face before.
This smile was the smile he gave to strangers on the street.
That smile, it was sweet but it broke my heart.
How could he forget me?
How could he not remember?
I was his first grandchild, the first one
to ever called him 'Tok Abah'.
And he's the one and only 'Tok Abah' in my life.
But he didn't remember me.
I cried.
Then, a woman came to me.
She told me,
"You must be new here.
It's about time, my dear.
When you first got here,
you might remember everything from the Earthly world.
Your family, your friend.
You remember all the memories with them.
But soon, the memories will fade.
Just like him.
He forgot you,
not because he wanted to,
but because it's about time
for him to forget the world he left behind.
Soon, you'll be just like him."
I'm new? To this world?
The world that is not the Earth but it's also not the heaven?
Where am I?
I walked and walked,
wondering the last thing that happened to me,
and how did I end up here?
As I walked,
I saw Atok.
I smiled at him.
But he too didn't remember me.
I just sat next to him,
it felt like home again,
to be near someone I love.
Even though it hurts,
when they no longer have me in their memory.
I wonder how long will this feeling last?
And for how long will I remember, the life I left behind?
- A strange dream, Sept 25
