Biggest distractions!

As you know, final is in a week and I haven't started studying 

as hard as I should.

There are always things that will distract me, oh man.

Yesterday, I completed my tax return,

had not completed my tax return for almost 3 years,

so that was a lot of works!

Today,

I should be studying,

but I spent time putting a mask on my face

and I was interacting with people on social media hahaha

Oh yeah,

I had my very first cehh giveaways!

Since I'll be traveling to 6 countries, inshaAllah, in June,

I just randomly asked people to guess which countries I'm going to

and winners will be receiving postcards from me.

I asked the question on the video I shared on my instagram:

The replies were surprisingly a lot.

I had 20+ replies and I thought I won't be getting any.

So, as a token of appreciation, I made the giveaway official!

HAHA

And yesssss

that's the secret project I talked about in my previous post!

I'll be going to all these places!

London, England - Copenhagen, Denmark - Budapest, Hungary - Prague, Czech Republic - Marrakech, Morocco and 

most cities in Turkey because I'll be in Turkey for 8 weeks!!!!!

I'm super excited as you can tell.

Please make dua for me,

so I'll be given a long life and healthy body and mind for this trip!

May God bless!

Lots of love,

Aliah

Yoga vs Pilates

Nope, I don't have deep understandings of

neither these two things.

But today,

I decided to try both of them.

So, I searched on youtube:

Yoga for Beginners

First impression:

(not really, I've done yoga couple of times but not based on this specific video)

Oh, it's very calming.

It's about mindfulness,

breath well,

it's really good for my stressful state of mind, lol.

Then, I searched for:

Pilates for Beginner

First move:

I'm dead.

Bruh, I had to do like the half-sit up thing for 100 times,

oh no man.

I was screwed! HAHA 

And had to do the sideways kicking thingy for 50 times,

and I was laughing the whole time when I did that,

cause it was damn painful and I just wanted it to end fast but it was endless

and I never wanted to give up, and I didn't.

But it's a good workout.

Like I feel all the muscles are doing the job cause 

I never pushed my muscles to work that hard before.

But I definitely was sweating more when I did pilates as compared to yoga.

Will I do yoga again? Yes.

Will I do pilates again? I'll think about it and depends on how my body is gonna react tomorrow.

God help!

After working out, I went to weigh myself.

Bruh, I don't know why, but it kinda works instantly for losing weight lol

I'm 34kg now, hahahahhahahaha

Not healthy, I'm eating the whole tray of brownies now.

Disclaimer: I don't workout to lose weight, I work out for my health and skin,

cause I heard exercising will make my skin thank me later.

We'll see about that.

My fun time: #fattzura

You've probably known this if you saw my instastory,

I love @missfazura so much 

then she got married,

then I'm kinda obsessed with all their igstories.

@fattahaminz needs to start vloging about their life lol

can't get enough of this couple.

Bruhh

why am I blogging this?

I need my future self to know,

this side of me.

Maybe my future me will be a little bit embarrassed heh.

Padan muka!

Their #fattzurafairytale wedding,

oh my, fairytale does come true.

Orang lain yang kahwin,

I yang bahagia.

One quiet morning....

Mom would kill me if she knew this.

I haven't been going to my 830am class, because it's kinda pointless.

Whatever is taught in class, won't be covered in exam.

I need to read the textbook to score the exam,

and nothing from the lecture will be asked in the exam.

Weird, ey?

So, justification aside.

Alhamdulillah, got full marks in most of the tests heh.

The distribution of marks for this course is pretty rare.

It's only 20% for final,

and there's an extra 15% bonus (for attendance), 10% for lab attendance and 5% for class attendance.

So, I might miss that 5% of class attendance,

but hey I got most of the points.

My main argument is, I only need 5% to get an A for this class,

which obviously I need it from my finals.

So, today, Friday and next Monday shall be the days of revision.

So I decided to come to class today.

Woke up at 745, arrived at the class just in time, 8.30am.

Issa quiet class, no one is there.

So.... what's on your mind?

I panicked. LOL.

Was I in a wrong class?

So I checked my phone,

there's no announcement about the class being canceled or anything,

in fact the prof specifically mentioned there'll be a review session on the 11th of April.

It's 11th of April.

Okay, time to check for the venue of the class.

As I checked the venue of the class....

*drumrolls*

the prof came.

He looked at me, I looked at him,

he looked away and started the lecture.

With me as his only student......

The most awkward air I've ever breathed in....

Help.

10 minutes later...

1 guy came in...

Then another dude...

Then another one....

Okay la total was 10. 

Okay, that's my story.

Moral of the story is, 

it's okay to come late to class if you know people never come to that class, 

to avoid any awkwardness lol.

Will I ever be successful?

Will I ever be successful?

What are the things I need to achieve to be successful?

I'm clueless, I'm lost.

I have no direction in life.

One day, I know what I wanna be,

on another day, I doubt my ability to even think of achieving it.

Yeap, I'm no longer the ambitious me.

Azura, if you're ever reading this,

please know that I miss you

and I kinda need to talk to you.

I think I'm just lonely,

I know I'm not alone,

I'm just freaking lonely,

I just need to meet familiar faces!

I just wanna go home and hug my parents

and I need someone to tell me,

"Aliah you've done well. So well. We're proud of you."

Some juniors from high school personal messaged me on instagram,

they told me how they really wanted to meet me,

because of the stories they heard about me from teachers in school etc.

Did I feel good about it? No.

Well, at least I knew I had done good things in school.

But I didn't feel proud...?

I felt, 

was I as good as what they talked about?

Had I ever reached those expectations?

Cause I felt like sometimes,

your life story isn't about the story you tell people,

it's about what people tell about you.

But I don't feel it.

I don't feel empowered, I don't feel great.

I feel insecurities.

I feel like I'll never be good enough.

This morning I had a lab demo,

and the TA asked us about three criteria of a synchronous machine,

and I answered two out of three of them,

leaving the other group members in shocked,

because I was the only girl in the group and I knew most of the answers.

But every time I answered them,

I would hide,

I didn't say my answer with full of confidence,

not because I didn't know what I was saying,

but it's because I was not feeling good about me.

I felt stupid, I felt that I need to know more about stuff,

I have very limited knowledge.

I felt terrible.

I felt like I'm never good enough.

Maybe it's just me,

overthinking about this reality.

Maybe my definition of success is way beyond what the meaning of success should be.

Or maybe,

we define our own success,

and I just haven't defined mine.

Happiness on A Friday

It's been a long silence,

I was not in a stable state of mind and I was kinda busy too,

so I didn't get to blog as much.

Final is in a week,

but I gotta tell you that this week was a pretty hectic week for me.

I have three labs,

1 project due soon

and final is approaching 

and I haven't studied anything lol.

On top of the busy schedule,

I was also totally broke.

I spent some money on

a secret mission,

will announce that in the next post, insyaAllah!

On top of that,

I didn't get my allowance and I had been waiting for that for like 2 weeks, lol.

So 2 weeks of spending on credit card hahaha!

#RIP

Anyway,

I decided to blog today because I want my future me to know the kind of happiness 

that I'm feeling today.

It's like, I feel so content that you can see that on my face.

I was so broke,

that I had nothing to eat, okay.

So as I woke up this morning,

I received a message from kak Rosie,

she invited me over for lunch.

I was so happy,

FREE FOOD!

FREE MALAYSIAN FOOD!

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?!

Alhamdulillah,

no need to think about my starvation.

Kak Zarina and Amina were there too,

and omg, Amina is a bae,

I love her so much and she's my source of happiness here <3

Alhamdulillah,

thank you Allah for Amina <3

I had to leave Kak Rosie's place earlier

because I had a workshop on the secret mission hehe

which started at 6pm.

I made it 15 minutes earlier weehoo!

During the workshop,

I was so inspired listening to all their stories 

(secret mission)

and they served us dinner and bubble tea.

BUBBLE TEA FOR GOD'S SAKE!

WHO DOESN'T LOVE BUBBLE TEA?!

Alhamdulillah

for free dinner and bubble tea.

Then,

I went home to two good news.

The allowance was in, and we got extra allowance

for the books and omg

Alhamdulillah!

I was so worried cause I had to pay bills and rent

and fuh I didn't need to borrow money from my parents

and the second good news was.....

I MADE IT TO YTN PAGE!

HOME PAGE!


Say what?!

I've always wanted to be in advertisement hahaha

this is not really an advertisement or tv commercial

but almost there almost there hahaahhah

I started off the #faceoftnb last summer

and now I became a part of #faceofytn 

hehehehehe

And even #duckscarf was featured on the website

hahaha 2 in 1

The real kind of happiness today was

I gotta talk to both of my parents at the same time :')

I'm being super clingy these days,

I would call them everyday. EVERYDAY.

and today hehe I feel like everything is complete.

Alhamdulillah for the Friday full of happiness.

xo