Iryss was sleeping on my chest, while I was typing this. She loves this sleeping position, though it costs me sit sleeping the whole night sometimes, I love it. It comes with backache as a price lol. I’m gonna start working soon and work will always be busy. With the current phase of where my projects stand now, it’ll more hectic than before I left for maternity leaves.
90 days aren’t enough for me to bond with Iryss. Yes, I ranted about this a lot on my social media but I just had to let it out of my system. I wish I was in Canada now, the maternity leave is up to 2 years.
I don’t have the courage to let strangers taking care of my baby, yet I don’t have the heart to be separated from her and leave her with my mom in Melaka. In the end, I have to make a choice.
Iryss is one of the greatest blessings from Allah and I know she belongs to Him, but I just want to cherish every moment with her, I don’t want to be the second/third person to witness each of her milestones. I want to be the first, always. Yeah, not forgetting the dad in this situation lol but I still wanna be the first.
Before Iryss was born, before we knew her gender, I told some friends that I wished I could have a boy because at least I would not feel so pressured to have a boy in future pregnancies. But deep down, I’ve always prayed for a daughter. I’m the firstborn, I’m a daughter. I think I could relate to the first-born daughter better. My mom and I are best friends, the bond between us is something I want to recreate with my daughter.
Iryss is 77 days old as I’m writing this. She’s such an easy baby, not a fussy one. She’s a good sleeper, very manja because I manjakan, loves to laugh, and is a chatty one. I love talking to her, telling her stories and when I told her about my maternity leaves almost come to an end, I swear the corners of her mouth turning down, and her chin is quivering. Cebik bibir. Like she understood.
When this happened, I regret not starting any business sooner, being a boss of my own and can take as much time as I can with my little one. I know the importance of sending kids to school and letting them socialize and be independent etc, but I think 3 months old is a little too early to be separated from the parents. Especially if the baby is still breastfeeding.
I can rant about this all day long, though I know there’re so many parents who have to go through this dilemma every day, I just wish this won’t happen, to any of us. Ugh, why isn’t Malaysia having a better policy for our younger generations? *rolling my eyes*
Regardless of whatever choices I gotta make, I pray it will be the best one. May Allah protect Iryss, always.
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