A Master's Degree, A Million Lessons: Reflecting on My Data Science Journey

In August 2023, I officially completed my Master’s in Data Science at UiTM Shah Alam, a journey that culminated in a convocation ceremony this past November. While my LinkedIn post announced the achievement, I’ve been reflecting not on the milestone itself, but on the rollercoaster of emotions and life lessons that accompanied it.

Here’s the truth: I didn’t celebrate this accomplishment as much as I should have. This happens to me a lot—I tend to set sky-high expectations for myself, which sometimes blinds me to the significance of my own achievements. It’s a bad habit I’m trying to break, as it can make me seem ungrateful.

But this time, I’m reminding myself: earning a Master’s degree, topped with the Excellence Master Award, is a big deal.

So why do I feel so “meh” about it? Maybe it’s because my convocation came more than a year after I finished the program, making the sacrifices feel like a distant memory. Or maybe I’ve just been too busy chasing the next goal to pause and appreciate the journey.

Let me take you back to those years of study—a time defined by sleepless nights, relentless deadlines, and moments of doubt.

I switched careers during this period, balancing late-night assignments, group discussions, and nerve-wracking presentations.

I breastfed my daughter, Iryss, in between all of this.

My husband, Pan, took on the lion’s share of parenting while I focused on my studies.

I burned through annual leave—not for vacations, but to prep for exams and presentations.

Every achievement demands sacrifice, and this one was no exception. Yet, I often forget the pain and effort it took because I’m too focused on what’s next.

Even after accomplishing this, I’ve caught myself falling into the comparison trap. Thoughts like:

“That person has a doctorate at my age.”

“This person is a manager and they’re younger than me.”

But here’s what I’ve learned: my journey is my own.

I’m not a doctor (yet) because Allah, in His wisdom, knows what’s best for me.

I’m not a manager (yet) because perhaps I’m not ready for the pressures that come with it.

Instead of comparing, I’m trying to shift my focus to gratitude.

For those who think a Master’s degree is a golden ticket to success—let me burst that bubble. It’s been a significant investment of time, money, and energy. I paid the tuition fees entirely out of my pocket, sacrificing years of bonuses for self-investment.

And guess what? I’m not working as a data scientist. There are no stars, rainbows, or moons raining down for me. In fact, I’m now in the investment industry, and Python hasn’t made an appearance in my job description.

But I wouldn’t trade this journey for anything. The lessons I gained are priceless:

1. Perseverance: Giving 101% in everything I do, no matter the circumstances.

2. Sacrifice: Understanding that no success comes without giving something up—not just from me, but from my family and support system.

3. Gratitude: Being thankful for the process, the struggles, and the growth.

Alhamdulillah for this journey. It wasn’t just about earning a degree; it was about discovering resilience, patience, and faith.

To anyone reading this: your path doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. Celebrate your milestones, big or small, and trust that what’s meant for you will come, inshaAllah.

Here’s to more wonderful things ahead.

Life in Pause

 

Hi there,

It’s been a while since I last updated my blog—so long, in fact, that I almost forgot it existed. That was until two nights ago when I had a dream where I struggled to articulate my thoughts. It struck me how much blogging had once helped me become a better storyteller and writer. But life, as a parent and a corporate worker, has kept me so busy that I’ve neglected something I truly enjoy: writing and expressing my feelings.

Part of my hesitation has also been fear—fear of criticism. When I first started blogging back in 2009, I could never have imagined a world dominated by platforms like TikTok, Twitter, and Threads, where criticism is so casually thrown around. In Malay, we’d say terpaling kenal—as though everyone assumes they know best.

I despise that culture of snap judgments, where people read clickbait headlines and make countless assumptions. Criticism is one thing, but spreading hateful comments is another level entirely. Yet, I don’t have the energy to engage with such negativity or explain why those comments shouldn’t exist. After all, I have my own flaws, and the least I can do is ensure I don’t fall into the same trap of harshness and unwarranted criticism.

These days, I’m more of a silent reader, steering clear of comment sections that only serve to cloud my mind with toxicity.

I’ve also distanced myself from TikTok; it feels like a time sink. Instead, I’ve gravitated toward Instagram, where I follow pages shedding light on the atrocities in Gaza and the Middle East—places like Syria and Lebanon. Watching the news unfold, I often find myself wondering: beyond spreading awareness, boycotting, and donating, what more can I do to help?

It’s been over a year since October 7, 2023, the day the genocide escalated. The emotional toll has been immense. While Palestinians endure unimaginable calamities, I can’t help but feel a sense of guilt when I think about updating my own life on social media.

My Instagram stories now center more on Palestine and far less on me. There’s a deliberate choice in this. I feel more at ease not showcasing my personal life online. There’s no longer a need to impress or seek validation. My struggles feel trivial compared to the suffering of the children, women, and men of Gaza.

Instead, I’ve spent more time reading Aida Azlin’s Tuesday Love Letters, reflecting on The Clear Quran, and contemplating how to become a better person. Life on this earth is fleeting, and I often ask myself: how can I improve as a person, a wife, a daughter, and a mother?

Last December, I was blessed to perform Hajj. It’s been a year since that life-changing journey, and I still haven’t published the blog post I wrote about it—it sits quietly in my drafts.

One memory stands out vividly. I met a Palestinian woman during Hajj who wept as she asked me to pray for her family in Gaza. Her pain felt so raw, so immediate.

Another poignant moment was at Raudhah and during our visit to Uhud Mountain. I cried deeply, thinking about the sacrifices of the Prophet Muhammad SAW and his companions. Their struggles made it possible for us to embrace Islam today, and I couldn’t help but reflect: have I truly been grateful for this blessing?

I’ll leave this post with that thought.

It’s just 14 days until 2025, and there are so many updates I wish to share—not on social media, but here in this safe space. Maybe I’ll write more. Maybe I won’t. For now, it feels like enough to put these thoughts into words, even if no one is reading this but my husband.

Till then,

Lots of love.

Iryss turned 2!

 

Dear Iryss,

You turned exactly last month and we are so happy to celebrate

and thankful to have you in our life.

We have three celebrations for you and 

although you will not remember them much, 

we want to capture all those moments and

make you feel the happiest on your special day.

The first celebration was at your school,

and you also celebrated the day with your friend, Aaryan.

Your teachers told us that you and Aaryan are best buddies.

You guys always fight, yet you play most of the time together 

as he is only one day older than you.

We bought a Secret Indulgence cake from Secret Recipe,

as you love chocolate very much.

We also gave each person two packets of Koko crunch 

and a box of chocolate Dutch lady milk;

both are your favourites!

And we gave your teachers @bungawan cotton square hijabs.

We hope they love the tudungs!

(similar to the previous post)

The second celebration was on the 29th of July.

It was also a celebration for all July babies!

Nenda was born on the 12th of July, and Aisyah on the 16th of July 

and Wan Cu on the 21st of July, a day before you!

We celebrated it with my side of the family,

with all my cousins who were much younger than me.

We had food, durians, cakes and a kid pool.

We had bubbles and giant bubbles too!

You enjoyed the day very much, and so did Mama and Abah.

We decorated the garage, and it was all very last minute.

I gave all my cousins something for their late and early birthday gifts.

You received many presents from Atta, Tok Ma, Täti Sya, Mamang, Täti Na and Wan Cu.

I must remind myself to take pictures with Täti Sya, Mamang, Täti Na next time.

Last 19th August,

we celebrated your birthday with Abah's side of the family

and it was a celebration of three of Tok Pa and Genma's grandchildren.

It was Aaqil's birthday on that day,

Kakak Deenah's birthday is on 31st October and

yours was a belated celebration.

The theme was safari, and Ibu had planned everything for the celebration.

I helped out with choosing the decoration, Ibu and Ayah managed all the food,

MySu and Tok Pa cooked sup tulang for the day, 

Pak Lang, MyQa and MySu helped with the decoration too,

while Abah dealt with the contractor outside.

Genma made sure everything was in order and captured all behind-the-scenes moments.

Unfortunately, Alang wasn't feeling well that day, but

you kids only ate when Alang fed you all. 

Poor Alang had to share her food with you all :P

All Genma's siblings and families joined the celebration, and they're super generous 

in giving each of you nice gifts and money.

Thank you, NySu, Tok Su, Uncle Zhafran, Uncle Haziq, Aunty Pina, 

Tok Andak, Aunty Pia and Tok Yang

for the gifts and celebrating Deenah, Iryss and Aaqil.

Iryss,

Mama wants to highlight two profound moments that happened that day.

#1

When we were decorating, 

you were so excited as I assembled the balloons to make them into an arch.

When Pak Lang helped to hang the balloon arch on the wall,

you got more excited and impressed with the balloon arch.

The excitement made you say to me,

"Good job, Mama! Good job!"

with two thumbs up!

I was so happy at that moment,

you appreciated the efforts, and you were so happy with the results.

Thank you, Iryss, for appreciating the people around you.

#2

You had a nap for two hours before the cake-cutting session.

When we sang the happy birthday to you song three times,

because there were three of you,

you had a funny reaction of looking so heartless.

You didn't show any emotion for a while,

more like confused, or you had so many emotions at a time

that you didn't know how to express them.

Everyone had a good laugh at your reaction.

Everything was back to normal when you had your cake haha!

Iryss,

you'll grow up being a thoughtful, loving, caring,

kind, courageous, brave and wise lady.

You taught us so much about love,

patience, determination and strength.

We love you so much and will do everything for you.

May Allah bless you with everything good for you,

protect you from everything bad for you,

and May Allah suffice you.

Monkey See, Monkey Do

Happiest 2nd birthday to my firstborn, Iryss.

Iryss had a small celebration at school with a Secret Recipe cake (chocolate indulgence, always)

and we prepared two packs of Koko Crunch and a box of chocolate milk for all her schoolmates.

We also prepared a piece of @bungawan tudung for each of her teachers.

If you know me well enough, 

you know I love celebrations!

I love preparing for the door gifts, food and everything.

But I told myself not to overdo anything this year because

last year was a huge celebration.

Simplicity at its best,

and, most importantly, pocket-friendly.

Iryss has grown to be such a kind and clever girl.

She understands most of the words we say; she can say most basic words, like,

"Mine!"

"No!"

"Please...."

"Thank you!"

"Tasheh (Terima Kasih)"

"Together, sama-sama"

"Share"

"Sakit ke?"

"Nak makan"

"Eat"

"Mama buat apa tu?"

My favourite of all, 

"Aww thank you, mama!"

When she thanks you with an aww at the beginning,

it means she's really appreciative of your gestures.

And yes, I still breastfeed her at night.

She's a girl with a stance.

She knows what she wants,

she's always certain about her choice, and she always sticks to what she believes in.

For example, this one morning, when she saw her Abah was praying on my prayer mat

while she was half-awake, she said,

"Abah! Tu mama punya! Abah, stop. Abah, pray outside!"

Because I always pray in the room, my husband sometimes prays in the hall cause I usually have assignments to settle and I have to shut the door, or else Iryss would not let me focus.

When I tripped or accidentally injured myself,

Iryss would come to me with so much love and empathy,

"Mama sakit ke? Iryss hug. Iryss kiss. (Ke)siannn, Mama"

She's super caring. She's the best firstborn I could ever ask for.

I thank Allah every day, every night, for lending me Iryss in this world.

I make dua to Allah, so I can spend more time with her in this world, 

and may Allah reunite us again in heaven.

For everything she does, she reminds me that she's mirroring us.

The way we speak, the way we behave, everything.

She's mirroring us, the parents, every kid she meets at her school, her teachers, and her surroundings.

She's mirroring her environment.

We as parents, as much as we want to protect her from all the evil in this world,

we can only do our best.

This a gentle reminder for myself,

to protect, guide and always be there for my Iryss.

Iryss, if you ever encounter my blog when you know how to read and surf the net,

please know that I love you so so much!

You're not celebrating your wins enough

The third semester of my master's degree was no joke. 

The ride is getting tougher, not easier. 

I’m jealous of seeing all my friends who are pursuing their masters abroad 

because they’re having the time of their life.

UiTM is tough. 

I salute all UiTM graduates because the assessments require hard work and deep understanding. 

You have to be fully committed to ace. 

As a full-time working mother of 1, 

I struggled last semester, and I foresee things not gonna change. 

I will still struggle this final semester.

May Allah bless all my lecturers for their dedication, 

understanding and supports, and because so far, the classes are still online (which I appreciate most!), 

I could hear their babies crying in the background. 

They have their own struggles and yet still do their best. 

That gave me a hard slap. Why couldn’t I?

I took study leaves when I was drowning with assignments and tests, 

I didn’t mind spending my annual leaves on my study.  

I had to do what I had to do. 

The amount of time my daughter and my whole family fell sick throughout the semester.

When I had to defend my proposal, I had conjunctivitis. 

I was so stressed out. You had no idea how many times I forced Pan to listen to me rehearsing. Alhamdulillah, all praises to Allah, 

the defence went well, and they accepted my proposal with minor comments. 

Yes, it's not perfect; it still needs improvement, but I’m glad it went well. 

One of the examiners mentioned that I sounded like a news reporter. I hope in a good way, haha!

March 10, they announced our results online and for the first time in a long time, I got all As! 

All As! 4.0!!! I’ve never gotten a 4.0 before! 

My husband was the first to know, and I was so happy that day! 

And I know this was not because of my hard work 

but the prayers and sacrifices of so many people around me.

Especially my husband,

who has to listen to my rants,

my crying sessions, my rehearsals,

my ideas, my complaints,

who has to take care of Iryss on weekends during my classes,

at night after work, because I have assignments to complete.

I love him so much!

My parents and parents-in-law for the moral support,

for taking care of Iryss on weekends when we're exhausted,

for keep pushing me to the limit,

for encouraging me and, most importantly, for their endless prayers.

My Tok Mak, for being the most feminist woman I know,

for believing a mother could achieve anything her heart desires.

For always telling me to dream high, work hard, and pray harder to achieve those dreams.

To my siblings for making me push myself harder because 

I want them to know that they can achieve more than I do.

Family > anything!

Sounds like a graduation speech over there, but I realised I didn't celebrate my wins enough.

So, today, after the second week of my final semester,

I realise if I didn't celebrate my wins,

I didn't do justice to myself.

To dear self who had to stay up late and wake up early to study and finish up assignments,

who had to breastfeed a child while having another hand typing on keyboards,

who had to work late during peak season yet needed to squeeze time in between for research proposals,

who had to stay healthy even you got so sick because 

dear self, you're doing 4 major jobs -- a wife, a mother, s student and a worker.

Pat yourself at the back.

Tell yourself that you're proud of yourself.

You can achieve what your heart desires.

Believe in yourself even if you're belittled and doubted by your own little mind.

Congratulations, Aliah!

For getting a 4.0 in one of the toughest semesters of your Master's degree.

You deserve to celebrate your wins!