Dear Baby A,
You are the second miracle I’ve been blessed to carry, and it has been such a pleasure having you grow inside me. I want to start by saying I’m sorry. Unlike with your sister, Iryss, I didn’t write a detailed journal for you during this pregnancy. I could give excuses—work, a busy life with a toddler, and a million other things—but the truth is, no excuse feels good enough. Please know this doesn’t mean you are loved any less. If anything, this letter is my attempt to put into words all the moments, big and small, that have made carrying you so special.
The First Signs of You
I had a feeling you were there as early as April 22, 2024. I hadn’t taken a pregnancy test yet, but something in my heart told me I was carrying you. That day, I went for a massage, and a tiny voice in my mind wondered if it might be risky if I were pregnant. Around the same time, I had terrible rashes and went to the pharmacy for over-the-counter medication. I asked the pharmacist if the medicine was safe for pregnancy, even though I didn’t know for sure yet. It was just instinct.
A week later, our family—Atta, Tok Ma, Mama, Abah, Tati Na, and your sister, Iryss—traveled to Japan. As much as I adore Japanese food, especially sashimi, I couldn’t bring myself to eat any of it. Instead, I craved spicy food—a clue, perhaps, that you were already making your preferences known.
When I looked in the mirror during that trip, I noticed my waist and tummy looked different. It was subtle, but it felt like another sign. Even so, it didn’t stop me from climbing hundreds of stairs at Mt. Fuji or breastfeeding your sister. I felt strong, energized, and ready to take on the world, all while carrying you.
When we returned home, I finally took the pregnancy test, and it confirmed what my heart already knew.
A Different Journey
This second pregnancy has been a different experience—calmer, wiser, and filled with gratitude. Unlike with your sister, I didn’t meet as many doctors this time. Our go-to GP has been Dr. Fasyiezha from Klinik Menara 2, whom we first met during my pregnancy with Iryss. She’s become like family to us. Sometimes, we also saw Dr. Izzati from Poliklinik Shaikh, another kind and sweet doctor.
Your OBGYN is Dr. Sharmina Kamal at Sunway Medical Centre, and Alhamdulillah, this pregnancy has been a smooth and pleasant journey. I had barely any morning sickness and stayed active throughout—I was even driving to work until 36 weeks! The only funny quirk? I couldn’t stand the smell of Japanese food throughout this pregnancy. Maybe it’s a sign you’ll end up studying in Japan someday.
Choosing Your Name
Finding the perfect name for you has been a challenge, but I had my own special way of deciding. Your name is now set, and I can’t wait to call you by it. It feels just right for you.
The Final Weeks
I had hoped for a normal delivery this time, as my recovery from the c-section with your sister was quite tough. By weeks 36 and 37, your head was engaged, and I was hopeful. But at my 38-week scan, we found you had shifted back into a breech position. It was a shock, and I felt a little sad knowing a normal delivery might not be possible.
But Abah reminded me of the art of prayer—to trust Allah and ask only for what is best for me. So now, I surrender to His plan, knowing He always knows what is best for us.
Yesterday, Dr. Sharmina’s team called, and it looks like we’ll finally meet you on December 21, 2024, inshaAllah.
Counting Down to You
Baby A, we’re counting down the days until we can hold you in our arms. May Allah make your arrival smooth and bless our family with strength and love. We can’t wait to meet you, to see the little face we’ve been dreaming of, and to begin this beautiful new chapter with you in it.
With all my love,
Mama
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