So many things happening. Work, life, and more life. Sometimes I have to remind myself that life is bigger than work, and to stop associating work as life. But lately, life has been 50% work. Or maybe more. I clock in at 7.30am and only left the office at 8pm. So yeah, pardon my math earlier—it’s definitely more than half a day.
Life Update
Nawwafh, my newborn (in case you missed out, I've written a few blog posts about him), has turned 4 months! During his last check-up, his weight was way above the recommended curve, and I'm sooo happy. Alhamdulillah, it means he's absorbing all the breastmilk well. It makes me feel good and motivated to keep going. He’s already fitting into Iryss’ clothes from when she was 7 months old. We even compared their baby photos and he's clearly bigger than her. Go Nawwafh, go!
And then there’s Iryss, my sweet sweet firstborn. She's now… a full-on teenager. Okay she's turning 4 in July but emotionally? Rollercoaster. I suspect it’s because she wants all the attention (which I get, as a fellow firstborn myself 😂). But it also made me realise that with work hours stretching longer, she needs more of me. So dear colleagues, if I don’t reply after 8pm or on weekends, it’s because I’m clocking into another duty, the biggest amanah of all: being a mom.
And then there’s Pan, my husband. And no, his name is not Irfan haha. I call him Peter Pan. He’s been a gem, so understanding, so helpful. From helping with the chores to taking over cooking when I’m stuck with work. Our favourite kind of night? The eve of a public holiday, kids asleep, just us and a movie. Or the long car rides to Melaka or PD (long because… hello, traffic). But at least we get to just talk and talk.
I always believed in finding the right partner, and Alhamdulillah, I found mine. I once saw a viral video telling girls to “shop around” before getting married. I didn’t really shop around hahah (for realll) but I found the right one. My theory? Find the right place, and you’ll find the right one. In my case, the head prefect leadership camp lol. And yes, I’ll probably tell my kids that too. No pressure kids. Just sharing what worked for Mama :P
And there's mu dad, who just had his last day at Pet after 33 years of service. 33 years?! I said it twice because… wow. In my generation, if you last more than 5 years in a company, you practically deserve an award (which I should, by the way... 5 years and counting hahah). We had a small celebration, and it was beautiful to see the love and respect people showed my dad, it was heartwarming.
At home, he's just our Ayah, typical dad. But we always wondered: what was he like at work? As a colleague? As a boss? I used to go to him for advice; school, career, life, and even when he was tired or mentally still at work, he’d try his best to focus. My family says I might win the “workaholic” title next, and honestly? Fair.
But what I learned from him is this: he didn’t work hard for himself. Not for praise, not for promotions. He worked hard for us. For the family. To give us what we needed, to grant our wishes, to give us the best possible education and life.
I often question, why did he stay so long? Didn’t he ever feel like giving up? I’m sure he did. I’m sure there were years of feeling demotivated or underappreciated, like how I feel sometimes. But the thing is, he never spoke badly about the company. Ever. To him, without Pet, he wouldn’t be able to give us this life. And for that, he was grateful.
And then there’s Mama. For all of those 33 years, she was there. Behind the scenes. Preparing his clothes, managing the house, making sure the kids were okay, sorting the bills cause she's the CFO, clearing the kitchen after he cooked (yes, he cooks), reminding him to eat his meds… all of that, just so he could focus on work. He had her. And that made all the difference.
I think my generation, myself included, always wants more. And that’s great. It keeps us driven. But sometimes, we forget the basics. We forget gratitude. We forget to thank Allah for what He’s already given us.
Everything, this life we’re living, everything we have, is from Him. I believe that because my dad was always thankful, Allah gave him more. And when Allah gave him more, we felt it too. The whole family felt the blessings. And that’s the kind of joy he always worked for. Not for himself, but for his family.
It changes wow I see work now (and I hope for long). Yes, lately work has been consuming my time. But I’m grateful. Because this job is what helps us live, what supports the family, what gives us the life we have. We may not be earning as much as some of our peers, but we’re happy. We have our kids, our joy, our amanah. They’re the reason we get up each day. And having a partner like Pan, that’s a huge blessing too. Sometimes we forget how much that matters.
I’m crying as I write this. And I’m reminded of a quote I once read but I forget who said it:
"If today you're only living with the things you thanked Allah for yesterday, what are you living with?"
Honestly? Probably not much.
Because I need to be more thankful.
So today, I’m saying thank you.
For my parents.
For my husband.
For my children.
For all the things I've just written about.
Thank you, Allah, for all of them.
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