This is the portrait of my great grandparents,
who are my dad's maternal grandparents.
Hjh Mah and Hj Amat.
In Ramadhan 2005, my Tok Aki (Hj Amat) left us for
the next life and it was the first passing of my family member that I could remember.
3 years later, on 7th of March 2008,
my Tok Wan (Hjh Mah) followed him.
My dad was so devastated because he's the closest to his grandparents.
We all were.
Tok Wan was a great cook and she made the best jemput-jemput
and the best asam pedas
and I remembered the last time I saw her
was on a Sunday, before I made my way to SSP
during my January overnight.
She looked happy and glowing.
I complimented her. She was 70+ at that time, but she didn't look like one.
She was so happy to see me and she kissed me on my cheeks a few times.
Little did I know, it was her last kiss for me.
Today was supposed to be Tok Abah's 74th birthday but he left us
when he just turned 71. It was 8th of March 2018
and the darkest day of my Montreal life.
Because I was away, not being able to meet him, before his last breath.
He was the proudest of my achievement in life and he was
there at every of my scholarship interview
and university interview.
He was there on each of my first days.
On my first day at kindergarten,
On my first day at primary school,
On my first day at SSP,
On my first day at KMB,
my first flight to Canada,
my second flight to Canada,
my first day at my internship
and my third flight to Canada.
That was the last time we met.
And he held my hand like he never held my hand before.
He hugged me tight and it was my last memory with him.
And every time I wrote about this,
no matter how many years it's been,
I still am crying a river.
And the fact that he wasn't there during my wedding events,
it hurt me most.
To the man who would perform solat hajat during every of my exam paper,
he definitely is so special to me.
And I miss him so dearly.
Al-Fatihah to Hj Musa.
I miss you Tok Abah, a little extra today.
Al fatihah
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