Not My Thing

Tbh, 

I am not the type of person that works hard 

to be praised.

I don't put efforts to be admired.

I don't like the idea of putting my efforts 

into things because I want to have a certain reputation in people's eyes.

I hate it when people judge me that way.

When I was about to be given certain position,

I would be doubting myself.

I never think or feel like I am good enough for the position.

Allah has blessed me with so many things in life.

Everything went smoothly

until I have to make decisions on something.

I am stuck,

between something I like,

or something I should do.

Do I need to sacrifice again for others' benefit?

I feel like my life now

is all about sacrificing myself.

I don't really mind tho,

a 'thank you' is enough for me.

A title is not a recognition of what you've done,

it comes with responsibility.

I don't think I am good enough to handle those things.

People always say to me,

oh, you'll forever be unready.

True.

But I have my personal experiences,

I know myself well to determine 

whether I am ready or not for this responsibility.

Really,

I don't mind sacrificing my time and energy 

to do certain things.

But I don't do it for a title.

I do it because I am sincere to do it, 

I love doing it.

I enjoy doing it.

It is just my thing

to do something without demanding

for recognitions.

&

If you forgot

or didn't know;

I live by this principle.

"I don't want my presence to be applauded,

but my absence to be felt."