I have such a complicated, love-hate relationship with this book. I went in wanting to love it as much as everyone else seemed to, but from the beginning it just didn’t land for me. It had that “Intermezzo” vibe, something melancholic, artistic, full of potential, but the slow start and scattered themes kept me at a distance instead of pulling me in.
I did appreciate the author’s effort in tying up loose ends, exploring trauma, and giving each character a layered backstory. But part of what turned me off early on was the Israel narrative. Dov’s family in Israel, and that particular remark about how American Jews know so little about the country, really rubbed me the wrong way. With everything happening in the world right now, it felt tone-deaf. Maybe I’m biased because I’m pro-Palestine, but it immediately created a barrier between me and the story.
And then there was Dov himself. His relationship with Sadie, if we can even call it that, was disturbing. The power imbalance between professor and student, the S&M, and ultimately the abortion she endured (spoiler alert!) really unsettled me. Sadie’s insistence that she “consented” to whatever he wanted, even at her expense, felt hollow. It was painful to read, and I hated it. But I’ll give the author credit, it was written in a way that made me feel that discomfort, and I did feel awful for Sadie.
What struck me more, though, was Sadie’s experience as a woman in a male-dominated space. As a minority in the programming world at MIT, she constantly had to prove her worth. Worse, some of her artistic contributions were overshadowed, with Sam getting more credit than she did. That imbalance, where men have it easier while women fight for recognition, rang painfully true.
Sam, on the other hand, was a character I struggled with. His trauma and tragedy made me empathize with him, but his dynamic with Sadie was complicated. I kept trying to understand them, and in the end, I was relieved that their bond never turned into a conventional romance. What they shared, creating games, building worlds together, was something unique, and honestly more intimate than a romantic storyline would’ve been.
Then there’s Marx. Oh, Marx. He became the heart of the story for me. The moment his presence grew, the book finally clicked. He was the glue between Sadie and Sam, the caretaker, the one who brought balance to the chaos. Even when Sadie and Sam resisted his involvement in Ichigo, he supported them anyway. And when he literally took the bullet to save them, it shattered me. His death felt like the true tragedy of the book. I wanted so badly for Sadie and Marx to have their chance at happiness, but it was stolen away.
After that, watching Sam and Sadie drift further apart was heartbreaking, even though I couldn’t blame Sadie for needing distance. Still, I admired Sam’s attempt to reconnect. His creation of Pioneer, the secret game designed as a bridge to reach her again, was brilliant. That storyline, and the games themselves, were some of my favorite parts of the book. I’m not even a gamer, but I found myself wishing those games were real.
By the time I reached the end, I realized I didn’t actually dislike the book as much as I thought. It grew on me, but only from the middle onwards. Maybe it was my expectations that dragged down my experience. I thought it would be a solid 4-star read. Instead, for me, it’s a 3. There were moments of brilliance, moments that broke me, and moments that made me angry. But in the end, the fact that I felt all of that means the book did its job, it just wasn’t always a pleasant journey.
What stayed with me most is how the book mirrors so many realities: power imbalances in relationships, women being overlooked in male-dominated spaces, the way trauma shapes people differently, and how friendships can be just as profound, sometimes even more so, than romantic love. It made me angry, it made me sad, but it also made me reflect on how much of this exists in the real world around us. And maybe that’s why, even though I didn’t love the book the way I hoped, I can’t dismiss it either.
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