What Ifs and What Is



 I can be an overthinker. Not in life, but in my imagination.


When I read a book or watch a movie, I linger on the characters.

It’s fiction, but I dwell:

How did they become who they are?

What happened in the spaces the story never told?

What if they were thrown into a different plot? Would they still grow the same way?


Sometimes, I carry these characters with me for days.

And I marvel, how incredible it is that Allah created a mind capable of wandering that far?

But also, how frightening!

Because the more I think, the more I see: 

Every twist could lead anywhere, every turn could change everything.


And isn’t that just like life?


As much as I love planning, making to-do lists, staying proactive, because if I don’t, I slack (and I can’t afford to; I’m not only a full-time worker, but a full-time mother, wife, and daughter too), overthinking life itself only makes me spiral.

Some things are simply uncontrollable, and some worries are unbearable.


So, I let God.


He is the Best Planner.

I don’t know what will happen one second from now.

I don’t know if the decision I’m about to make will be my best, or the one that breaks me.


So, I let God.


If it’s written for me, even if I dread it, it will find me.

If it’s not mine, even if I crave it, it will never stay.

Because what is meant for me will never pass me by,

And what is not meant for me will never be mine.



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