Not being part of anything made me a boring person,
cause I always felt tired when I wasn't busy.
I need to have a routine,
I need my schedule to be packed all the time,
so I could maximize my time.
But after getting into McGill,
I realized that my involvement wasn't as active as before,
in fact, it kinda dropped like an e^-x graph.
So I reflected upon my CV.
Okay, was it the engineering field or was it just me?
I had no idea.
I was VP for a club, I volunteered a lot,
I danced, I was one of the photographers for many events at McGill.
But I didn't feel like I've done enough.
Disclaimer, I'm not bragging.
It's just, hm I felt kinda bad for not joining more engineering kind of stuff you know.
But sometimes,
I told myself,
"Well, Aliah. In high school, you didn't join any science-y stuff either.
You were part of the debating team, you volunteered here and there, lol.
And all the conferences you attended were all non-science stuff."
Yeah, tbh, I'm not into science.
I'm more into arts.
But I love maths!
And I told myself that at least,
I wanna have a science-based degree,
because I just want to challenge myself.
It's not that I think I'd do well,
I just feel the need of being out of my comfort zone
and do stuff at the extreme difficulty level lol.
Yeah, I signed up for engineering school,
I agreed to be in the path,
although this is all written,
I had a choice before.
Okay, my choice was to be in an engineering school in the UK
or a medical school in Malaysia.
I picked Canada.
Still science-y, but you got my point.
I chose this journey so I gotta finish it.
And about not being involved enough,
I think it's better that way.
I mean engineering is already killing me from the inside,
I gotta need to do something of less pressure,
less hectic and more of something I love.
Today, I received an email from McGill Tribune,
they handle the McGill newspaper,
and they accepted my artworks!
I'm more than honored to be featured on the school newspaper.
And it feels good to have people appreciate my sense of photography haha!
Being more involved allows me to feel more connected to my school.
I like contributing as much as I can.
And I always tell myself;
"Work for a cause, not for an applause.
Make your absence felt, not your presence noticed."
I wish, one day, if I die,
at least one person on this Earth will say,
"she touches my heart. I will never forget her. May Allah place her in Jannah."
