A little happiness

I've been reading so many blogs lately
and little did I realise,
I am emotionally affected by words.

Reading emo-ish blogs,
makes me all moody all the way.

Reading funny-ish blogs,
makes me all happy.

I don't understand myself either,
maybe it's because it's almost time,
for me to face the red moon (what a metaphor).

I envy those who enjoy little happiness in their life.
Indeed, everyone measures happiness in her own way.

I wonder what's mine tho.

Does receiving great result in IB exam,
(will be knowing my result this Monday)
give me an absolute happiness?

Why do I want to get good result anyway?
Oh yeah, because I need to fulfil my sponsor's requirement,
because I am not rich to pay everything using my parents' money
unlike certain people.

I want to make my parents happy, and I finally realise
that it has nothing to do with me but my parents.

I owe them just too much, and I am afraid if I can disappoint them,

I'm scared of my future, too scared in fact,
till it makes me feel like I am hardly
enjoying my present.

I am just too busy of being scared and nervous
of so many probabilities that might happen
this Monday,
till I forget to appreciate
the one who comfort me all the time,
and also the One who listens.

Thank you Allah for being there for me,
and thank you for lending me
a very wonderful family that is always there for me,
especially my mum and my dad.
 and for a great angel, that is not tired
of comforting me when I am sad.

If I could choose who should stay in my life,
they will always be my family and Azmi Haqqim.

I love them just too much.