Will I?


I've been crying to sleep these past few days,
because I am deadly scared
to know my results.

I still remember the first day
I entered KMB,
feeling so ambitious about getting to 
score well etc.

But after going through
the journey,
I am learning to accept reality.

IB is definitely an easy program
and if you think
you want to have leisure times during
your college days,
IB is definitely not for you.

So,
I did some reflection 
when I cried,
I told myself,
you know what,
I've done my best,
very best.

I've done every possible 
thing that I can do,
to score.
I've done my part.

Crying makes me feel 
that I am not perfect.
Some might see crying is
a form of me not having trust
in Allah's plan.

No,
that's not what I feel.

I know Allah always has better plans
for me, 
in fact He is the best planner.
He knows what's best for me.

I cry because I do not
want to feel confident 
that I can get good grades.
I want to remind myself,
to be at the best humility state as I can.

I cry because I am trying to
tell myself to accept reality
and to be prepared for any consequence.

O Allah,
please give me strength.
And I know you've the best result for me.
Give me strength to accept it.

Will I be flying to Canada?

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