Let me explain

I have been restraining myself from blogging about this since I was 14.

It was because I was not mature enough back then.

And I didn't think I could explain it logically, and I didn't think it matters for some people too.

I am 21 now,

I still hesitate about it.

In Malaysia, we have seen the percentage of divorce cases is increasing, rapidly.

Social media is said to be one of the factors.

But I am not an expert to comment on this matter either.

Based on my observation,

young couples tend to show their affections and loves towards each other more

than the married couples.

Young couples could be on the phone for 24/7,

meanwhile ,

some married couples would have hung up 

before their spouses could even complete their sentences.

This scenario doesn't happen to every couple.

My parents can be 'lovey dovey' sometimes.

I bet many other married couples are too.

At least, it's based on what they show on their social media.

Social media can be good and bad at the same time.

It allows you get connected with friends, foes, and families; 

yet it can be a bad thing at times.

Back to the problems that I have stated earlier.

For me, the root of these problems is the loss of love.

I am taking a Religious Ethics and Environment course this semester

and it is amazing!

It widens my perspective on many other religions and appreciate mine even more.

One of the guest speakers for this course is an Imam from McGill Religious Centre

and he has told the class a lot of beautiful things about Islam.

I have heard most of them from

my school's talks and religious class back then,

but humans are forgetful. 

We need to be reminded, over and over again.

So, one of his sayings is about love.

Love is universal.

Allah has asked us to love Him, 

our Prophet, parents, teachers, relatives, families, 

friends, neighbours, animals, environment, and everything around us.

The duality of holism.

In Islam, based on Tawhid's perspective,

Allah is sacred and He is the only One we should worship.

His creations; humans, animals, environments, angels etc are reflections of His sacredness.

This makes us and other creations equal.

However,

Allah has made us stewards of this Earth, the Khalifah,

for us to monitor and to also enjoy the bounty of Earth,

because humans have special gifts from Him;

the ability to speak, think.

With the understanding 

-- we are equal and our abilities are the gifts from Allah 

and without them we are nothing special --

humans should appreciate Allah's gifts and use them wisely.

There should not be any betrayals, killings and hatreds among humans too.

Because we're all equal and no one is superior to one another.

Prophet Muhammad SAW also asked us to love everyone, everything,

even our enemies.

Why did the Prophet SAW ask us to love everyone, including our enemies?

(This is merely my opinion)

Because love can change any circumstance.

Because of love, people respect each other.

Because of love, people forgive one another.

Because of love, people unite and back each other up.

Without the Prophet and companions' deep love for Islam, 

we might not enjoy the beauty of it today.

True love paves the way to Jannah.

Love with lust will lead to Jahannam.

In today's context,

people tend to love their spouses more before they're married.

During marriage life, the relationship becomes a commitment, it is no longer based on love.

Indeed, when one gets married,

he/she should be ready to hold the responsibility to handle his/her own family.

But without love,

sincerity is absent and

the responsibility will just be another burden.

Then, they start feeling tired of the marriage life.

Without love,

companionship is missing.

Thus, there is no longer good communication between 

the husband and wife.

Without good communication,

misunderstanding happens.

This will lead to chaos.

(Because you can see flying plates everywhere)

In another words,

when the love is absent,

divorce happens.

Why?

Marriage = commitment

commitment = burden

burden = tiresome

tiresome = communication lost 

communication lost = misunderstanding

misunderstanding = chaos

chaos ----> divorce

Somewhere between the equation,

there exists the third person.

The third person comes when husband and wife

do not share their problems with each other,

in fact, they share those problems with other people.

These can be colleagues, old friends,

in-laws, or even facebook friends.

Now, everything seems to make sense, right?

This is the reason for divorce case in today's world.

In my religious course,

a mate did ask about 

fate and destiny in Islam.

If Allah is all good, 

why do bad things still happen?

I raised my hand and responded to the question.

Fate and destiny -- these have been great confusions among Muslims as well.

Allah has written our fate and destiny,

even before we're born.

But He has promised His creations that

some fates and destinies can be changed.

The change must come from the person, himself.

"God will never change the destiny of a society until its people change that Society." (13:11)

I told that to the class,

and the Professor was impressed.

He said that was the most beautiful line he has ever heard

and asked me to email him that Qur'anic verse.

There are two things that can be related to this story.

1. I want to relate this ayat to my opinion above.

A marriage can last forever, love never dies in a relationship

if you put effort on it. 

If you cherish your relationship, appreciate your spouse

and make your marriage life as exciting as when you're young,

you will be in a happy marriage life :)

(I learn this from movies, novels, and true stories)

"You're not married yet, you would not know."

-- People will start telling this to me.

I admit that. 

I am just a young kid.

But with 21 years of experiences,

I think I know my stance.

I have been holding back for 7 years to talk about this,

and my stance never changes since then.

I know a marriage can work out,

a relationship can work out,

if there are sincerity, love and Allah's blessing.

After you have done everything you can,

let Allah decide.

 And if things still don't go the way you want,

Allah has saved something (someone) better for you :)

2. You don't have to be an 'alim' or an ustadzah to show

how beautiful Islam is.

Every Muslim can do it :)

I did receive comments and complaints from

anonymous readers,

stating that I don't deserve to talk about Islam

or to even mention about it

because I am in a relationship.

When I talked about Islam,

I was being hypocrite

because I committed sins that Allah hates.

1. I am in a relationship and I know my limit; what I can and cannot do

because I am not married yet.

2. My family and his family know about us.

3. I want this relationship to lead to another level, hence, I take it seriously.

But ofc, Allah will decide the rest.

4. It is my right to share my deepest gratitude towards my religion

and it's not wrong for me to share its beauty with others.

5. Only Allah can judge us.

Forgive me if what I do or what I say bother you.

I am just writing things on my blog because I wanna share them with others.

There's an x button that you can click

if you think my blog content is a little too much for you :)

Thank you for your time.

I really appreciate your advice,

but it's wrong for you to tell me

that I am not 'Muslim' enough to talk about Islam.