I was so afraid to get into university
cause I had this skeptical mind;
Lecturers could be mean.
You have to be nice to them to get extra marks etc.
I am in university now,
and I am changing my perception.
Lecturers are not mean,
they cannot be nice if you don't take your education seriously.
Youths can be too carefree at times,
everything is not taken seriously,
including the future.
They are not going to give you
free marks if you don't work hard for it.
Because it's the reality.
You won't get money if you don't work.
You will still be illiterate if you don't learn how to read.
You will still be stupid if you are too ego to learn from others.
But yesterday, I had another issue.
Even my friend was asking me to stop being self-conscious about it.
I always feel like I have a thing
inside of me called human repellant.
People will not want to talk to me,
people will judge me and
they will hate me.
To a certain extent, it's true.
No matter how hard I am trying to deny it,
it's always true.
There will always be someone that doesn't accept you, easily.
They will, but it takes time.
Someone might be in constant competition with you,
you don't feel like you're competing with them,
but they do.
They feel like you're stealing people's attention from them,
you steal their happiness.
Even though
I don't intentionally do what they blame me doing,
they still see me as the bad girl, right?
Can I do anything to change their perceptions on me?
No.
Can I change my perception on them?
Hell yeah!
These situations have thought me many things.
1. When you're grateful for what you have and thank Allah enough,
you will not feel defeated by others.
Your money in the bank doesn't define Allah's bless towards you.
Because money is a test on your iman.
How well do you spend that is more important.
So, don't compete to be richer, more famous or prettier.
Because they're all impermanent.
2. You define your own happiness.
Even if you think it has been taken away from you,
you can always create one.
I know this is super subjective.
Especially in this case
You might feel like this kind of person shouldn't exist
cause they build their happiness on other's sadness.
But hey, we all know this kind of happiness won't last long!
This is like a super impolite language that I use to remind myself,
so pardon my language.
If a jerk dumped you for a bitch,
you should know that the bitch might dump him for another jerk later.
It's karma, girl.
Chin up!
You should be happy cause you're no longer in a relationship with a jerk :)
Your happiness is not stolen,
you just have to find a better one!
Okay okay,
I know it's easy for me to say this,
but hey after a long time,
when you're in your rational state of mind,
you will agree with me too!
#beentheredonethat
3. Permission to be a better person
Sometimes, the people you meet in life, give you permission to be a better person.
Even bad people can teach you good values,
you just have to wear your ethical glasses and
know what lessons to take when you encounter bad things.
To those who feel like
I am constantly threatening your life
by enjoying my life,
you should really reflect upon this.
If you stop caring about others' life
and start appreciating yours,
you will notice that your life is so much better than mine or any other people's.
Appreciate what you have now
before they become what you once had.
#tellingthistomyselftoo
Aliah Nazamusa
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