FREAKING OUT!

The past few weeks have been a bit hectic for me since I had so many deadlines, labs, exams, assignments, presentations and I'm glad now, it's all the exam part of my undergraduate study. Well, yes I'm glad they're all exams left because at least I gotta do the fun part of my degree, to actually study and get tested lol. 

On top of all the craziness, I had to plan the family trip that's happening in June and I hardly had time for that, so I passed that responsibility to my sister. I felt bad because, for the last trip to Australia, she planned everything. This time, she had to do the planning again. Planning is the hardest part of everything. The everything-shall-be-well-organized blood is running in the family and it stressed me out when I couldn't prioritize that. Since my sister is now on her gap year before going back to school for her professional paper, I think she would do a much better job than me and she clearly did.

There is also another big family event happening and we all need to plan and since my parents are not in Malaysia, and the whole family is not living under the same roof, physically, we have to skype most of the time to discuss it. There's always an argument, God oh God. One person wants this, another wants the other thing and although it's not becoming like a huge fight because lol tbh it's all just small thing that shouldn't matter, arguments can never be avoided. It all boils down to decisions that need to be made and one person has to decide and sometimes I wish it will all be just me that could make the decision because my way of thinking is very straight-forward. This is what I want, this is how I'm gonna achieve it. End of the story. But I didn't sound so wise, did I? Because what ifs thingy need to be considered and I hate what ifs. They have been destroying my happiness for ages, hence I wanna get rid of them altogether. But who am I kidding, life is full of uncertainties.

I always tell myself, to not immediately say no to any suggestions/ideas no matter how ridiculous they may sound at first. Discussions are needed because most of the time, our opinions are always limited to our personal experiences and knowledge. Others may have a better understanding that we do. Listen. Evaluate. Listen again. Evaluate again. Will the idea help us achieve the end goal? 

I was pretty anxious over the past few days thinking about this, but then I realize that I have to set my priority straight. I have so many things in between that I haven't yet figured out. 

My final, I have to start packing my stuff for shipping, I need to figure how to ship my stuff, my future job, the interview, I have three trips with family and friends before the end-of-the-year event and all require thinking and planning.

Oh then, I started being anxious again. Sometimes I wish I'm not a planner, just go with the flow kind of person seems to have a pretty breezy life.

What do I do? What do I do? I'm freaking out!