I'm obsessed with planning. I have to plan everything minimum 6 months before the event.
Because I'm too attached to this principle;
"if you fail to plan, you plan to fail."
I love planning, I love seeing things in order,
I love it when everything works perfectly like how I plan it to be.
But I guess this part of me can be harmful and it can eat my soul slowly.
Because humans can only plan,
the results are never 100% determined by what I've planned.
God decides and He will decide what's best for me and what's not.
Because as most people would know and I'm writing this to remind myself,
that what I think is good for me, might be bad for me and what's bad for me, might be good for me.
I guess January is the month when everyone feels refreshed,
renewed and it's a really good way to start a new journey.
But as for me, January will never be just another beginning of the year;
it's the month when I will turn 1 year older,
I will expect myself to be a year wiser and hopefully become a better version of myself.
I plan, but I need to remind myself that Allah is the best planner.
Therefore, in this post,
I want to reflect on things that did not happen according to my plan,
but they turned out to be the best things that have happened in my life.
(Disclaimer: This is not a post where I want to boast about my achievements and what not, I just simply want to reflect on Allah's best plans for me
and I hope you can reflect on your life events as well)
1. I planned on going to TKC for high school, but I was chosen to be part of the SSP family and SSP was one of the best things that ever happened in my life. I learned important values that made me the person I am today, I gotta meet my wonderful best friends that become ones of my strongest pillars.
2. I planned on devoting all my high school time on my debate team but during my final year in high school, I had to carry another big responsibility, ie to become the headgirl of the school and I didn't see that coming tbh, but becoming the headgirl had opened windows of opportunities for me in many aspects. Even though my debating team couldn't make it to the final of national debate competition, I gotta achieve other things during my high school days:
i. I could bring a small impact, a small legacy to the school before I left my school.
ii. I got to make my family cried during my graduation speech (MSK)
iii. Alhamdulillah, I was awarded Malaysia’s Best Student Award by the Ministry of Education Malaysia (MoE) for overall excellence in curricular and co-curricular activities
iv. Hence being offered a few scholarships to pursue my degree abroad and I chose YTN, which I never regret my life decision
iv. I gotta meet Pan hehe
3. I planned on studying at Oxford University but I got into McGill University which is also one of the world's top universities (even though not as well-known) and it's the best university in Canada (the Harvard of Canada).
4. I planned on having Petroleum Engineering degree but God knows that Chemistry is not my niche and I'm thankful that I'm in Electrical Engineering, even though I don't exactly have a great time but at least the pain is tolerable.
5. I planned on having my last Summer internship in KL, but I was placed in Melaka instead but subhanaAllah I'm so grateful for that opportunity because I gotta spend my time with my grandparents and gotta listen to their stories especially now that TokAbah was diagnosed with blood cancer and he could barely speak because he just feels very weak every time, yeah, I'm really thankful for that.
6. I planned on studying in a university where I can be roomies with my high school best friends or my sister but today, I'm living with people I had never known before I reached Montreal and it's a sign for me to widen my networking and get to know more people and not stuck in the same circle of friends.
7. I planned on being a lab partner with someone I know in my engineering design project (the robot project) but working with someone you know doesn't necessarily help you grow because you'd be caught up in your comfort zone, so Allah partnered me up with a stranger and we became 2nd in the competition!
8. I planned on studying in the same country with the love of my life but Allah has placed us in two different universities, two different countries because being too close to someone you love (that's not halal for you) will be dangerous and inclined to a haram relationship.
9. I planned on going to South America during my current winter break but the ticket was so expensive but it's a sign from God that I should start saving my money and maybe He has planned a bigger and better vacation for me soon.
Those are a few examples that I could think of right now but really, everything that happens in my life, on daily basis, I would always reflect on it, and remind myself that Allah is the Greatest Planner, and He knows what's best for me, no matter how hard I plan on something.
Then again, there's nothing wrong with planning, I'm still that girl who dreams big, plan hard but now, I think I'm also becoming the girl who realizes that I'm not in control of my fate and my future. I can do my very best in everything I want to do in my life, but God has a better plan for everything, so I have to trust Him.
Tonight, I'm just connecting the dots on who I am now, where I came from and why does all of these happen to me today. My fate has been written even before my existence in this world.
When my plan doesn't go well, I should learn from it and know that something better is coming.
Good things will come to those who work for them and wait patiently for them.
Love,
Aliah.
Very inspiring
ReplyDelete