Time difference sucks but this holiday I spent my nights
talking to people I love and I usually slept at 5am just to talk to them.
There's a particular conversation that I had with Pan asking him to rate himself based on look,
on a scale 1 to 10.
With confidence, he replied;
"Among my friends, I rate myself an 8. But among celebrities and models, I rate myself a 7."
Oh wow, that level of confidence haha!
He didn't ask me the question back, how rude, but I still answered it lol.
"Among my friends, I rate myself a 6. But among celebrities and models, I rate myself a 3."
He was so shocked, he thought I was being too modest
but I told him, I answered it out of honesty, especially when I scroll my instagram, my self-esteem just drops so much!
I showed a few instagram photos to him and some girls that I think look so pretty, he said they're moderate. I did this whole process with my other friends and family members before too and everyone doesn't give me the same answer!!!
This makes me realize that how you see yourself can be different than how others would see you.
Person A might think you're pretty, Person B might think you're moderate and Person C might wish he will never see you again.
How others see you is not important, but how you see yourself matters!
Your self-acceptance plays an important role in how you treat yourself.
Some days, I woke up feeling pretty but most of the days, I woke up feeling ugly haha!
But I guess I define my look based on what I see in social media and the society's definition of pretty.
But I will not lie, in my honest opinion,
never for a second, I feel like being someone else.
I always feel like myself,
I'm feeling myself, I-I-I'm feeling myself~
That's one thing that I'm proud of me hehe
On days I feel like putting makeup on, I seriously never think of impressing anyone,
not even Pan, I swear haha! I always wanna look good in my eyes
even though they say you see yourself in the mirror as 30% prettier than you actually look to others.....
Then, there's small, evil, hatred voice saying,
"Alamak but you still post your selfie on instagram.."
Oh well, that's my instagram, I have all the rights to post whatever I feel like posting.
I don't ask for you to look at it, nor like it, nor to follow me, to begin with.
And I never ever feel like I hate someone just because of what she/he posts on ig.
#nojudgmentunlessyoujudgeme
#sorrynotsorry
Point is,
what matters most is how you see yourself.
And have a beautiful heart, that's very important,
you don't have to justify yourself on everything you do,
as long as you have good intentions and
you know Allah will love you for that,
then keep on doing those things.
You do you!
As for now,
on a scale 1 to 10,
I rate myself an 8.
Because I'm being myself and don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not!
Not a 10, because there's still room for improvement.
Okie that's all from me!
I'm gonna have another long semester coming, wish me luck!
ps, I posted a poll on ig asking between me and Pan, who's the better half.
I won the poll but that's not me winning the bet because
Pan thought I'm the better half, I thought he's the better half.
But at one moment the poll result was this:
And this is the perfect way to describe us,
we complete each other
*pukes*
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