I took a break and I like it!

Early in January, I decided to take a break from social media

because I spent most of my time scrolling the discover pages (on Instagram) 

and it's all about happy people and some gossips 

and some silly viral videos

and I thought that my idea of perfect life has changed.

I became too concentrated on portraying my life to 

what I thought the world wanted to see.

I thought that living the social media world,

following the latest trend looked so cool,

but I realized it had been nothing but a toxic in my life.

I started off by deleting my Instagram app

and tbh it felt weird. Because that app would be the first thing I would check

as I woke up when indeed the first thing I should do is

to be thankful for being given another chance to live, right?

I asked myself,

why did I bother posting my photos on Instagram and updating my stories,

whom did I want to impress?

I convinced myself that I wanted to impress myself and it's for my memories.

Oh really?

Well, that's not entirely true.

There's a side of me that would still check on who would reply to my story etc

and if I posted something that I thought was cool and no one replied anything to me,

I kinda wondered oh that maybe my definition of cool wasn't cool enough.

Social media has certainly set a standard for my way of living,

I would post pictures, pose like what I always see in the media.

Maybe not all people would do that, but I did.

I started liking pastel colors and white because of

all the flatlay accounts that I followed on Instagram.

I have a vision of how my pictures should look like when traveling

because of the traveling account that I followed.

I didn't say they're bad influencers,

 I just felt that at one point in life,

these social media influencers they give so many influences

to me that I kinda wonder what is the true version of me.

Where's the originality and the authenticity here?

It's scary how trends and medias shape the society these days.

Ok to be fair, it doesn't only have to be about social media,

even the series that I'm watching does influence my life;

cause I wanna wear all the outfits that Rachel Green wore in friends lol.

Oh, it's just so scary.

When I was a child,

my parents would tell me to find the right friends

because you could end up being like your friends,

which I totally agree

and now I have to tell myself and my kids

that 

not only we have to find the right friends,

we also need to find the right media to read/listen/believe in,

we also need to carefully choose the series that we wanna watch,

or the celebrities that we want to have a crush on,

and the most important thing is we have to know our ground rules,

set our own standard on our life principle and know that our values

shouldn't be shaken easily just because of the trends.

So,

I deleted my Instagram app,

I did log in to my Instagram once awhile on the web

because I gotta to admit that Vivy Yusof's stories are too fun to be missed

but the fact that I don't spend time scrolling the home page and discover page anymore

makes me proud of myself, yeay!

And because of that, I manage to blog frequently now!

Did you notice that? Hehe

ps, this is solely my opinion on how social media affects my life. I don't want my opinion to shape other's opinion and in fact, I'm kinda scared to press the publish button now, but I guess I'll just do it.

Okay just did.